Exercise 7

EXERCISE SEVEN

Thinking Errors

A Study in Contentment

by Ron Wilkins

Flawed thinking robs those who use it of the quality of life they deserve. Contentment is slowly taken away and replaced with a stressful overload of shame, guilt and fear. Those who create the need to escape from the emotional pain caused by flawed thinking are going to have increasingly bad feelings, no matter what their escape behavior may be. It is not possible to feel good about using any behavior for the wrong reason.

Applying the master skills to the first and second step of human behavior will take the pain away and remove the need for an escape behavior, but the need to repair the damage will remain. Unless the repairs are made discontentment will seep back in and take over like water in a sinking ship.

Flawed thinking will cause a person to suffer on all four fronts. It will affect the way he thinks, it will damage him spiritually, he will develop destructive habits, and it will take a physical toll. Paul knew this when he wrote that we are troubled on every side. It’s just like Satan to attack on four sides at the same time. Flawed thinking causes man to believe that it will be a fair fight.

The sooner the damage caused by flawed thinking is repaired the better. The sooner the need for an escape behavior is eliminated, the more “thought time” can be devoted to making the needing repairs. This is good because repairing the damage left behind by flawed thinking will require intentional, concentrated effort over a reasonable amount of time. There is no quick fix to repairing damage. There are no silver bullets, no magic pills. It requires old fashion hard work, but it’s something to be proud of.

The repairs to flawed thinking are made by learning to restructure thoughts with the use of the master skills. The sooner the thoughts are restructured, the sooner the repairs to flawed thinking can be made. Success is the difference between understanding how the concept works and actually putting it to work. Repairs to the thought process will continue as long as there is an intentional effort to do so.

The repairs to spiritual damage resulting from flawed thinking are easier for some than for others. And strangely, the spiritual repairs may be easier for the non-churched. The “first shall be last and the last shall be first,” kind of thing. (Matt. 19:30) The religious community may be hindered by distorted views and preconceived ideas. The tendency to “closet” escape behavior may be stronger than for those who have not been under the watchful eye of others. The un-churched may suffer more from the feelings of unworthiness than the religious community does. But whether in or out of religious circles, the need to repair spiritual damage resulting from flawed thinking is critical. The repairs are as close as drawing near to God, so He may draw near to us. There can be no substitute for humility, The sooner the repairs begin the better.

It’s a mistake to expect God to do for man what man is capable of doing for himself. Man can learn to be content in every state, and he can learn to repair the damage that results from flawed thinking. To set back and expect God to fix something that he did not break, while making no effort at all to correct it ourselves, is unthinkable and self-centered. It’s equivalent to expecting God to fix a broken automobile. To expect God to do for man what he is capable of doing for himself is a first class invitation to the “poor me” club.

Flawed thinking contributes to the formation of dangerously destructive habits without being noticed. Repair to the habitual damage by flawed thinking requires a serious effort that is both intentional and concentrated. Repairs to habitual damage require a lot of work. Awareness is not going to occur without effort. It’s not easy to learn to replace destructive habits with healthy ones, but it’s not impossible either. Making a list of the habits associated with flawed thinking is a big step in the direction of repairing habitual damage. Repairs to habitual damage require gaining an awareness of the destructive habits, so they can be intentionally replaced with healthy ones.

Repairing physical damage caused by flawed thinking requires a qualified doctor. Sometimes physical damage cannot be repaired. For instance, flawed thinking could lead a young person to inhale fumes from gasoline or cleaning fluids and serious damage to the brain could occur. The abuse of food, tobacco, or sexual contact could result in irreversible damage to the body. The abuser may be left with no choice but to live with the damage, but every attempt to repair the damage should be taken.

Thinking that is flawed enough to lead to an escape behavior is going to result in some form of physical damage. Stress brought on by flawed thinking creates microscopic grit in the blood stream which will attack the weakest organ in the body. Physical damage is not always easy to see. It’s possible to suffer serious damage and not be aware of it. Ever precaution needs to be taken to repair every possible area of damage. It’s a mistake to settle for attempting to repair just one or two areas. In the event that physical damage cannot be repaired, use the master skills and prayer to process the emotional pain that comes from knowing that it cannot be repaired.

Meaningful repairs to any area of damage cannot occur as long as some form of flawed thinking is continuing to create damage. It’s like water running into a ship faster than it can be pumped out. Unless water is pumped out faster than it is running in the ship will sink. No captain would settle for just pumping out enough water to barely keep the ship from sinking. Yet that is exactly what pain carriers tend to do. They learn to process just enough pain to barely get into their zone of endurance. They settle for occasional contentment in instead of “the peace of mind that passes all understanding.”

Becoming aware of the need to learn how to process emotional pain in every area of life is a fine thing. So is applying what has been learned. It’s a great feeling to know how to get rid of the pain that once demanded some form of self-destructive escape behavior. Destructive escape behaviors only bring on more and more emotional pain.

It’s a fine thing to be free to make meaningful repairs to the damaged areas of life that hindered God’s work through shame, guilt and fear. Peter said to add to our faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance. He also spoke of godliness, brotherly kindness and love. He said if these things are in us and abound we will be neitherbarren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord, Jesus Christ. (II Peter 1:5-8)

Prayer is a God given power tool, but it is something we must learn to use. Paul said to pray without ceasing, and he meant what he said. Asking God to help in every aspect of learning to properly process emotional pain and repair the damage it caused is a smart thing to do. It is also wise to draw from the spiritual encouragement of others.

A word of caution; if two pain carriers walk as one and one learns to remove pain while the other doesn’t, the change that will occur in one can be a source of stress for the other. When two walk as one, it is best if they both learn to process emotional pain together, but no attempt to force the learning process upon another is ever successful. Keep in mind that it is important to set a reasonable rate for the learning process in order to avoid the stress of information overload.

QUESTIONS

1. What four areas are effected by flawed thinking?

2. Repairs to damage cannot occur as long as what continues?

3. What may remain after the need to escape from emotional pain is removed?

4. What can prevent feeling good about using a behavior?

5. Will God do for man what ma can do for himself?

TRUE or FALSE

1. The sooner repair begins the better.

2. God will fix any problems that we may have with emotional pain.

3. Satan is not interested in a fair fight.

4. The learning process should progress at a reasonable rate.

5. Prayer can be an effective tool in repairing damage created by flawed thinking.