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EXERCISE ONE
Self-Esteem
A Study in Contentment
by Ron Wilkins
Our God is an awesome God, but He is also a loving God. It has been said that every person is the product of their education and experience. But we must also understand that every person is also the creation of a loving God. Each of us is a unique person, different from all others. Yes, we are indeed unique, but we also have many common characteristics. Among those common characteristics is the ability to feel emotional pain, even as a young child. Emotional pain is a fact of life that none of us will ever be able to escape. It is a much a part of being human as breathing, eating and sleeping. And, just as being unable to breath, eat and sleep can kill us, unprocessed emotional pain can do the same. No one has ever committed suicide who was not first driven to a state of absolute hopelessness by unprocessed emotional pain. It can be a single catastrophic event, or a gradual build-up of numerous minor events. In either case, the potential result is the same.
The single greatest defense against emotional pain is high self-esteem. Whether we realize it or not, we are constantly engaged in self-talk. Another way of saying this is that we are continually talking to ourselves. What we tell ourselves is the trigger that sets off our emotional response to the various events that enter our life. A person with high self-esteem and a strong sense of self-worth will view events in a totally different light than a person with low self-esteem and a deflated sense of self-worth.
The sea of humanity is involved in two major pursuits; the endless quest for contentment and the attempt to escape the emotional pain accumulated in the pursuit. An ancient Chinese proverb reveals a fact as modern as E-mail; “you can’t pursue happiness and find it.” But it can be obtained; it is possible to live a life of “Every State Contentment.” It is not an unconditional gift, nor is it the result of luck or chance, and it is not automatic. Contentment will not be achieved by going to be at night wanting it, and wake up the next morning with it. It is a God given opportunity to acquire it by learning to obey Jesus admonition to ask, seek and knock. Ask, seek and knock is a Biblical way of saying “get the want fixed.” The bottom line is if the desire for contentment is strong enough to ask, seek and knock; it will be achieved. The belief that “Every State Contentment” is not possible is a major obstacle that will be studied in a future lesson.
The Bible tells us that God will never place us in a situation in which He will not also give us a means of escape. What many people fail to understand is that this is not simply setting back and waiting for God to send us a way out. God provided the means of escape two thousand years age when inspired men penned the sacred scriptures.
It is a gross mistake to believe that the Bible is simply a book of platitudes. The Bible provides the means of escape from any situation in which we find ourselves. The God who created us understands all our wants and needs and saw fit to provide the keys that will open the door to happiness and contentment before any of us living today were even born. As our creator, He knows us even better than we know ourselves. He not only created the bodies we live in but also all of the emotions that we experience. What is more, He did not just create us in all of our complexities then leave us to face life as best we can. Through the inspired scriptures He has provided us with all the information we need to successfully navigate our way through life. It is the specific intent of the Bible to lead us through this life and into eternal life with Him when our life on earth is complete. The greatest tragedy of the human race is the failure to understand and appreciate the practical value of the concepts found in the Bible.
Many of the factors that have a direct bearing on our self-esteem are in place before we are even born. They are also factors over which we have absolutely no control. The place of our birth, the time of our birth and the circumstances of our birth, and yes, even the color of our skin, all contribute directly to the mental image we have of ourselves. Some are fortunate enough to have been born into loving and supportive families while others have no family at all. Emotional pain endured as a child will have a tremendous bearing on our perception of ourselves. Jails, prisons and mental hospitals are filled with people whose first experience with emotional pain came from within their own family. The abuse, physical, mental and verbal, that some experience as a child often remains into our adult years and can have a devastating effect on our self-esteem and sense of self-worth.
The important thing to understand is that our birth is merely an event; it is the path we walk that becomes our life. We have the ability to rise above the obstacles that have hindered our growth and learn to do those things which will increase our self-esteem and sense of self-worth. One of the best ways to increase our self-esteem is to develop an attitude of humility. We all have both wants and needs. Humility can best be defined as putting another person’s needs ahead of my wants. Jesus did not want to go to the cross, but He knew that we needed Him to pay the price if we were to have any hope of eternal life. This is the prime example of humility. When we learn to develop this attitude we will find grateful people giving us appreciation and respect. Our level of contentment will rise right along with out self-esteem and sense of self-worth.
“Every state contentment” can be a reality for those who will take the step of faith to believe that it is both needed and possible to learn. The Bible makes it clear that it is possible to be content in the worst as well as the best of circumstances. No better example of this can be seen that in two Bible characters; Joseph in the Old Testament and Paul in the New. Both men were humble with a spirit of service. Both men experienced good times and bad. Both demonstrated that they could glorify God during the worst as well as the best of times. Each of us has the same God given ability to learn from Jesus and to put His principals to work in our lives. This will, in turn, warrant appreciation and respect from our fellow men. As we learn from Jesus we will find that the longer we work, the easier it becomes.
In the eleventh chapter of Matthew, verse twenty-nine, Jesus said,
“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me; for I am meek and lowly in heart and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”
Learning from Jesus how to obtain “Every State Contentment” is a great idea that fulfills an even greater need. Learning to be content from the Master provides sweet rest for the soul. When Jesus said, “learn of me,” He challenged all to study his methods and the behaviors that He used to accomplish His desired goals.
In any learning process there are steps to accomplish and skills to master. Learning to be content is no exception. If everything is not in place, learning cannot and will not occur. This study will involve discovering causes and exploring effects. There will be facts to be believed, skills to be perfected and knowledge to be gained. In addition, there will be instruction on how and when to apply the acquired skills in light of the facts that relate to each situation. Learning to enjoy “Every State Contentment” requires a dedicated and concentrated effort. It is not easy, but it is possible and it gets easier as time goes on. There will be setbacks. Skill levels will be challenged, facts and methods will need to be recalled until they are comfortable, reliable and natural. Eventually the learning process will pay off. Old established thinking will be restructured. Familiar habits will be replaced with workable methods. Confidence in spiritual concepts will be strengthened. And, with God’s help, and instructions from the Lord, success will occur. “Every State Contentment” will grow into a daily lifestyle. New meaning will be added to the statement of the Lord,
“I tell you these things that you might have life, and that you may have it more abundantly.”
QUESTIONS
1. What is the single greatest defense against emotional pain?
2. What is the best definition of “humility.”
3. What are the sea of humanity’s two greatest pursuits?
4. What is the best road map for contentment in our lives?
5. What did Paul and Joseph have in common?
TRUE or FALSE
1. The Bible is a book of platitudes.
2. “Every State Contentment” can be achieved with a minimum amount of effort.
3. God will never place us in a situation without a means of escape.
4. “Every State Contentment” is both Biblical and possible.
5. Childhood emotional pain can have a strong effect on our self-esteem and sense of self-worth.
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