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CHARACTERISTICS OF PAIN CARRIERS
1. Pain carriers have nothing to stop their pain, even their escape behaviors eventually leave them with more pain than they had before they acted out the behavior. Individuals that become trained to remove emotional pain have something that works.
2. Pain carriers instantly react to things that they do not like in an aggressive manner. Those who are trained to remove emotional pain follow a four step process that allows them to choose how they will behave instead of allowing others to dictate their behavior for them.
3. Pain carriers invest in negative, condemning thoughts directed at hurtful events. They spend large amounts of thought time thinking about how hurtful the event is, how it tends to remind them of similar events, and how future events could occur. Pain processors are trained to recognize that they are being hurt and that the event needs to be processed.
4. Pain carriers become depressed through the negative, dark, and heavy thoughts directed at the events that hurt them. Pain processors shut down the negative thoughts that bring on depression by using healthy, accurate, and assertive thoughts directed at the event.
5. Pain carriers move from depression to stress build up that becomes greater and greater until it creates the desperate need to escape from stress. Those who are trained to remove emotional pain process the event and therefore avoid the negative thoughts that bring on depression. Since they do not depress, they do not stress out. If they avoid the stress build up, they will have no need for any form of escape behavior.
6. Pain carriers who build stress to the breaking point eventually decide to escape from their stress through some behavior that will take their minds off their stress, depression and negative thoughts directed toward a hurtful event. Escape behaviors are better known as addictions. They decide to act out, (seek relief) from their pain. They choose an escape avenue which all too often includes alcohol or drugs. Once their choice is made, they act out until they are covered with shame, guilt, and fear. Pain processors avoid the need to escape and there fore have nothing to be ashamed of, feel guilty about, or fear; they live a life of contentment instead of seeking occasional contentment or escape behaviors.
7. Pain carriers are devastated by events that take them by surprise. Pain processors are not easily taken by surprise because they are trained to be aware of high risk situations that could catch them by surprise. They are trained to pre-process potential surprises and be prepared ahead of time for an appro priate behavior response.
8. Pain carriers eventually resolve to stop the behavior that brings on shame, guild, and fear. Often their resolve is strong enough that they will make an all out attempt to stop their unwanted behavior but, without being trained to address the pain that caused their addiction their effort to stop becomes set up for failure when the next pain event occurs. Pain processors don’t have to resolve and attempt to stop because through processing the pain event they avoid the nightmare of the escape behavior cycle that overwhelms the pain carrier.
9. Pain carriers fear conflict, pain processors don’t. Pain processors have confidence in their ability to process hurtful events brought on by aggressive people.
10. Pain carriers fear relationships, pain processors don’t. Pain processors have confidence in their ability to build on relationships with accurate, healthy, assertive skills to understand the complete picture of the relationship.
11. Pain carriers fear aggressive people and work to avoid them. Pain processors know how to disarm aggression through compliments, agreement, and sincere apologies. They usually wind up winning the aggressor over to their way of thinking.
12. Pain carriers tend to set themselves up for failure through thinking errors. Pain processors are taught to use healthy, accurate thinking and therefore avoid failures and disappointments.
13. Pain carriers feel the need to instantly respond to everything they do not like. Pain processors are trained to be slow to react to hurtful events and aggression. They are eager to listen but they hesitate to react until they are sure their words and behavior would be appropriate and harmless.
14. Pain carriers toss and turn and twist the sheets all through the sleepless night. They wake up tired, stressed and angry. Pain processors sleep. They wake up refreshed, thankful, and ready to take on the new day and the opportunities that it presents.
15. Pain carriers are robbed of the quality of life that they seek and deserve to have. They are at risk for suicide and hurting others. Pain processors enjoy contentment and happiness. They do not take their own lives.
16. Pain carriers unintentionally drain from those they contact. Pain processors are givers that contribute to the well being of others.
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