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Why Do I Hurt?
Emotional Pain comes to all of us and it comes as a result of being damaged in one or more of our five areas of human endeavor. Everything we do in life is done to satisfy at least one of our areas of endeavor. An understanding of the five areas of human endeavor allows us to understand how emotional pain results from damage to one or more of these areas.
Emotional Pain is a part of life. Job tells us, “For affliction does not come from the dust, nor does trouble spring from the ground; yet man is born to trouble, as the sparks fly upward. (Job 5:6-7) Emotional pain results from “Any statement, action or situation that can be perceived as negative, hurtful or unjust, and which tends to raise the level of anger.” The closer we are to a person, the more capable that person is of inflicting emotional pain and visa versa. There are three main ways in which emotional pain can be inflicted; misplaced priorities, careless words and actions, and intentional effort. Emotional pain will always impact and damage one or more of the five areas of human endeavor. We cannot find true contentment as long as we are carrying damage in any of these areas.
Our first area of human endeavor is survival. We enter the area of survival as soon as we draw our first breath of air. Survival is the most basic of all areas of human endeavor. Self-preservation is a driving force in every person. There are few things we won’t do to preserve our lives. God understands our need for the basic things necessary to our survival. Jesus assures us of this when he says, “...do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’...For your heavenly father knows that you need all of these things, but seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” (Matt. 6:31-33)
Our second area of human endeavor is acceptance. All of us want to find acceptance in the eyes of our fellow man, however, too many of us place our priority on the acquisition of material things in the false belief this will gain us acceptance which in turn will bring contentment. Regarding this Paul cautions Timothy, “Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world and it is certain we carry nothing out… And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content.” (I Tim. 6:6-8) Thisarea is entered as soon as we are placed in the arms of our mother, and hopefully our father. Over time the acceptance state expands to include other people such as siblings, relatives, friends and work associates. The highest and most noble goal of this state is to find acceptance in the “Eyes of God.” Again, Paul instructs Timothy to “ Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” (II Tim. 2:15) A person seeking to please God will put people ahead of things and as a result people will respond to him. God’s way teaches that our priority should be people, not things. The truth is, those of us who prioritize things in life are never fully content because there is always one more thing we think we need.
The third area of human endeavor is pleasure. Proverbs teaches “A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. (Proverbs 15:13) When the mother introduces the newborn to a dry bottom, soothing sounds, and the comfort of a warm bed he enters the pleasure state. What too many fail to understand is that the greatest sources of pleasure come from God and are usually free. God offers a universe of pleasure. “The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows His handiwork.” (Psalms 19:1) Have you sat with the one you love on a cloudless night and counted the stars? Have you strolled barefoot along a moonlit beach, viewed the panorama from a high mountain or seen the rainbow created by a waterfall? These are all God’s gifts of pleasure. What is more, people who live a life of service to others soon learn there is no greater source of pleasure to be found than the grateful appreciation of another. That’s why Paul tells us, “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.” (Galatians 6:10)
The fourth area of human endeavor is power. Again, Paul told Timothy, “God has not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (II Timothy 1:7) It doesn’t take a newborn long to learn that it has a great deal of power. Crying will bring immediate attention. Like other states, this state grows and expands over time. Power, as a human endeavor, is not to have power over others but over our own lives. When we walk with God we will have access to the greatest power in existence. We are told to “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:6-7)
The final area of human endeavor is freedom. The last state to be entered after birth is freedom. Freedom is best described as the ability to do and to achieve. Going from crawling to walking. Taking the training wheels off the bike. Having a room, a phone, education, transportation and a job. These are all areas in which we seek to be free to exercise our God given talents. The ability to dream, to aspire, and to achieve all satisfy our need for freedom. True freedom comes when we are freed from the bondage of sin by putting on Christ in baptism. Jesus said, “And you shall know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” (John 8:32) The Bible is full of truth; it tells us how we got here, how to be content while here and where we will be going from here. The apostle John tells us, “...these things are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name.” (John 20:31)
It is so sad to see good people, even members of the Lord’s church, striving to find contentment in all the wrong ways. Both God and Satan understand our areas of endeavor and both offer opportunities for fulfillment from which we must choose. That is why it is important to remember that “...the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom. 6:23)
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