How Can I Achieve Contentment?

Any person with a reasonable amount of mentality is capable of learning “Every State Contentment.” There are, however, two things which are absolutely necessary if a person is going to be successful in achieving, and enjoying, a high level of contentment. The first absolute is that an individual must believe they need to be trained. People who are satisfied with alternating between contentment and discontentment will never achieve “Every State Contentment.” The second absolute is the willingness to put in the time and effort to achieve it.

“Every State Contentment” is not a quick fix, nor can it be achieved with a minimum amount of effort. It requires a total restructuring of the way we think and this is one of the hardest things a person can attempt. It will only take a few days to learn how to do it, but months and years to master the necessary attitudes and skills.. It is a growth process that requires concentrated effort on the part of the student. Although it is both possible and Biblical, there are few who will actually attain it. Those who succeed will have an entirely new appreciation of Jesus statement, “I have come that they may have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)

Once over this initial hurtle, next thing a person must do is start removing the obstacles to the learning process. There are six obstacles which Satan has placed before us that must be overcome. Until these obstacles are removed the learning process cannot and will not be take place.

The first obstacle is ruminating which is dwelling on the past. Ruminating will stop the learning process dead in its tracts. Unless we force ourselves to put the events of the past in the past and quit dwelling on them, we will never master the attitudes and skills for dealing with emotional pain. The apostle Paul tells us very clearly, “....but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-14)

The second obstacle is denial. Denial is a coping mechanization that works in the subconscious. The opposite of denial is to admit we are carrying emotional pain. The psalmist promise, “The ear that hears the rebukes of life will abide among the wise. (Prov. 15:31) A companion of denial is enabling. Enabling destructive conduct by making excuses for destructive behavior will only prolong the addiction. Solomon tells us, “He who justifies the wicked, and he who condemns the just, both of them alike are an abomination to the Lord.” (Proverbs 17:15) Denial prevents us from facing the facts and dealing with them.

The Third obstacle is Lack of Time. Learning to process emotional pain takes time and effort on the part of the student. When confronted with the opportunity to learn, all too many respond, “I just don’t have the time to put into it right now.” The reality is that it is not a lack of time, but a matter of priorities. We all have the same amount of time and it our choice how we use it. Paul warns against misplaced priorities when he says, “See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” (Eph 5:15-16)

The fourth obstacle is Fear of Failure. Overcoming this blocker requires a major leap of faith. This is a blocker used by people who have experienced a number of failures in their lives. Individuals who have experienced numerous failures in their lives will develop an intense fear of failure. Fear not only prevents a person from taking the steps necessary to succeed, it robs us of the rewards that God wants us to enjoy. Remember what happened to Peter when he was walking toward Jesus on the water? Matthew tells us, “...And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus, but when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid and began to sink.” (Matthew 14:29-30)

The fifth obstacle which must be overcome is the fear of Giving up a needed behavior. Just like the Fear of failure, this obstacle requires a leap of faith. Our escape behaviors have been developed over a lifetime as a means of dealing with our emotional pain. A person who has become dependent on an escape behavior cannot visualize life without it. It takes a major leap of faith for the addicted to become convinced we really can live without the behavior. The Christian in particular has every reason to believe they can live without any particular escape behavior, especially if it is destructive. God has promised that, “No temptation has overtaken you except as is common to man; but God is faithful, Who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” (I Corinthians 10:13)

The sixth and final obstacle to be overcome is the fear of exposure. People who have kept their addictions and the underlying problems well hidden will have an intense fear of having them exposed. This blocker is prevalent among people who are well respected, economically successful or deeply religious. Jesus recognized this fear and alluded to it when He said, “ For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. (John 3:20) It is extremely difficult to really open ourselves up and discuss our problems with another person. However, until we reach the point where we are really honest with ourselves and willing to admit our weaknesses the learning process cannot take place. This is why James admonishes us to “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray one for another, that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

Removing these obstacles is not only the first step in the learning process, it is also the most difficult. Once past these obstacles the learning process becomes much easier. The tragedy is that most people, even those with a measure of desire, will not get past this first step. Satan hopes we won’t succeed, but God knows we can. Those who do will find themselves well on the way to achieving “Every State Contentment.”