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What is an Escape Behavior?
Any behavior that is used to escape from the build up of stress brought on by unprocessed emotional pain is clearly an escape behavior. The reason for the behavior is what determines addiction, not how many times the behavior is used.
The national average for the build up of most addictions is fifteen years from introduction to the full blown stage. Fifteen years is long enough for gradual changes in a behavior to go without notice, even under the watchful eye of caregivers and mates.
There are over one hundred behaviors that can be used to escape from emotional pain. Not all of them are immoral or against the law. Many may even be necessary to sustain life, such as eating or talking. Realistic recovery involves changing the reason for the behavior and restructuring its use. Obviously, anyone with a food or talking addiction would be without hope if true recovery demanded that the problem behavior be completely stopped. Some behaviors need to completely stop because they are immoral and those in recovery can be taught how to stop them if the reason for the behavior is changed.
If a pain carrier is in the early introductory stages of using a behavior to escape from emotional pain instead of properly processing it, they are in the early stages of addiction. It is not necessary to see self as being addicted in order to be addicted. Many alcoholics in their thirteenth or fourteenth year of alcoholism do not see their addiction for what it is because they compare their drinking to the fifteenth year symptoms. Pain carriers that use escape behaviors are in some stage of addiction, either on an entry level, an advanced level, or somewhere in between.
Fear paralyzes the reasoning process. We are conditioned to fear addiction so we withdraw from the thoughts of it and go into denial about it. What is really needed is awareness, understanding and the training to stop. Window dressing is intended for windows, but it is devastating to escape behaviors.
Covering up harmful behaviors to make them look good adds to building stress and robs all those that do it of contentment. Recovery cannot be for those who avoid acknowledging that harmful behavior exist in their lives. Making excuses for harmful behavior blocks the recovery process and so does attempting to place blame or to justify its existence, Ninety-eight percent of us use escape behaviors in at least one area of our human endeavors. Usually those who are on the absolute bottom are the only ones who admit to being addicted and many of those continue to deny their addiction. Overpowering negative thoughts, depression, building stress and the need for escape behaviors will continue as long as denial, justification and blaming continue.
Ron Wilkins
Removing Emotional Pain
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