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The Need to Escape
The need to escape from emotional pain is the foundation for all addictive behavior. There are over one hundred behaviors that become addictions when they are used to escape from emotional pain. The alcoholic drinks for the very same reason the drug addict uses drugs. The gossiper slanders and spreads tells for the very same reason the sex addict uses pornography or engages in harmful sexual acts. The person who abuses food does so for the very same reason the shoplifter tends to steal.
Even the faithful and dedicated religious community is made up of people who carry pain instead of properly processing it. Churches are filled with addictions that come from the need to escape from emotional pain. It’s all for the same reason, yet one behavior group will fault-find, blame and condemn those in any other behavior group. Only when the problem is seen for what it is: pain carriers in need of escape behaviors and in need of being taught how to take their pain away, can condemnation be turned into compassion.
Compassion allows for bearing one another’s burdens. Condemnation divides people, fills their hearts with bitterness and motivates them toward further division. The need to escape from pain, or the reason for addictive behavior is not being addressed by treatment programs. The direction was set in the early attempts to treat problem behaviors and is yet to change course.
The need to escape is like a heated pot under pressure. The stress builds and builds until it is unbearable. It should never be a matter of how much willpower is required to refrain from escaping, but how effective and how well developed is the training to process the pain event and remove the need to escape. Seriously addicted people cannot visualize life without their escape behavior. Not only is life possible without the behavior, it will be greatly improved.
Ron Wilkins
Removing Emotional Pain
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